#ThinkpieceThursday – The Power of Love is a Double Edged Sword

Thinkpiece Thursday

 

Power of Love characters fear being useless, unnecessary, unwanted or unappreciated. They believe that if they aren’t hypersensitive to others’ needs they will be rejected and abandoned. They define their own self-worth by how much others need or are dependent on them.  Examples in song are below “As Long as He Needs Me” from the musical and film Oliver and “He Needs Me” from Punch Drunk Love.

These characters believe the way to get love and keep love is to be helpful, useful, loving, kind and, above all, necessary to the other person. They fear that if you don’t put others first you won’t have good relationships. If you don’t have close personal relationships, then life isn’t worth living.

On a paper valentine it says simply, firmly and powerfully “Be Mine.” Possessiveness and passive/aggressive domination are the hallmarks of these characters in their Dark Side. Power of Love characters often lavish their attention and affection on others in order to exercise control, prevail, gain dominance or conquer another’s heart. The example below is “Mother Knows Best” from the movie Tangled.

Here are the three examples in song (lyrics are below):

“As Long As He Needs Me” from the musical and film Oliver as sung by Shirley Bassey.

LYRICS FOR AS LONG AS HE NEEDS ME

As long as he needs me…
Oh, yes, he does need me…
In spite of what you see…
…I’m sure that he needs me.
Who else would love him still
When they’ve been used so ill?
He knows I always will…
As long as he needs me.
I miss him so much when he is gone,
But when he’s near me
I don’t let on…
…The way I feel inside.
The love, I have to hide…
The hell! I’ve gone my pride
As long as he needs me.
He doesn’t say the things he should.
He acts the way he thinks he should.
But all the same,
I’ll play
This game
His way.
As long as he needs me…
I know where I must be.
I’ll cling on steadfastly…
As long as he needs me.
As long as life is long…
I’ll love him right or wrong,
And somehow, I’ll be strong…
As long as he needs me.
If you are lonely
Then you will know…
When someone needs you,
You love them so.
I won’t betray his trust…
Though people say I must.
I’ve got to stay true, just
As long as he needs me.
Another great example of love as need is “He Needs Me” from Punch Drunk Love:

 

LYRICS TO HE NEEDS ME

And all at once I knew
I knew at once
I knew he needed me

Until the day I die I wonder why
I knew he needed me
It could be fantasy oh oh
or maybe it’s because…

He needs me
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me!

Da da da da da da da da da da da dum da da da da da da da da da da da

It’s like a dime a dance
I’ll take a chance I will because he needs me
No one ever asked before, before, because they never needed me
“But I do”
But he does!

Maybe it’s because he’s so alone
Maybe it’s because he’s never had a home

He needs me
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me!

For once, for once in life I finally felt that someone needed me
And if it turns out real
Then love can turn the wheel

Because…
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me
He needs me!

Da da da da da da da da da da da dum

The Dark Side of Power of Love is sung with great effect by Mother Gothel in Tangled:

LYRICS TO MOTHER KNOWS BEST
You want to go outside? Why, Rapunzel!
Look at you, as fragile as a flower
Still a little sapling, just a sprout
You know why we stay up in this tower
I know but
That’s right, to keep you safe and sound, dear
Guess, I always knew this day was coming
Knew that soon you’d want to leave the nest
Soon, but not yet
But
Shh! Trust me, pet
Mother knows best
Mother knows best
Listen to your mother
It’s a scary world out there
Mother knows best
One way or another
Something will go wrong, I swear
Ruffians and thugs, poison ivy, quicksand
Cannibals and snakes, the plague
No! Yes! But
Also large bugs
Men with pointy teeth, and
Stop, no more, you’ll just upset me
Mother’s right here
Mother will protect you
Darling, here’s what I suggest
Skip the drama
Stay with mama
Mother knows best
Got ahead, get trampled by a rhino
Go ahead, get mugged and left for dead!
Me, I’m just your mother, what do I know?
I only bathed, and changed, and nursed you
Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it
Let me die alone here, be my guest!
When it’s too late, you’ll see, just wait
Mother knows best
Mother knows best
Take it from your mumsy
On your own, you won’t survive
Sloppy, underdressed, immature, clumsy
Please, they’ll eat you up alive
Gullible, naive, positively grubby
Ditzy and a bit, well, hmm, vague
Plus, I believe gettin’ kinda chubby
I’m just saying ’cause I love you
Mother understands
Mother’s here to help you
All I have is one request
Rapunzel?
Yes?
Don’t ever ask to leave this tower again
Yes, mother
I love you very much, dear
I love you more
I love you most
Don’t forget it
You’ll regret it
Mother knows best

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